Im done with you ~

I used to regret not saying yes to you. I used to regret not being able to be with you. I used to love you. I would always be anxious to see your name on my phone. I would stop doing whatever just to talk to you. I would loose it with you ! I know it was my fault for never admiting what we had, for never realizing how much you “loved me”,  for going along with the others, for leaving you, for not fighting for our so-called love. I know that I realized iLiked you very late, BUT that didnt mean I forgot you. Noo baby you changed me. I dont know if it was for the better or worse, all I know is that you changed my life forever. I stood up for myself for the first time, I tried things I had never done before, with you I started living ! I will never forget that time that I even lied to my mom just to go to your house and be with you ! I will never forget all the trouble I would go trough just to spend an afternoon with you. I will never forget that time you took the blame for me and ended up, well fucked-up. I will always remember the poems and songs you dedicated to me. “Miss Perfect” I always jamm to it. I will always remember how you would follow me around even though I was being bitchy to you. Or that time when we went to the beach and we had the best time together. All those little kisses and those little moments will forever remain in my heart, or atleast my mind; because they were special, too damn special and that was the problem. Those times were we would just sit there and you would tell me about your life. Then it hit me. Life isnt all butterflies and rainbows! I used to think it was. I realized my life was “perfect” . I realized that I had it all easy, everything infront of me. I realized that other people have a really hard life and that many would want to have what I have, or had. Because , even though me and you had a blast, I have to admit I lost alot of things. Very important things that lead to what I am now. I lost my innocence. I lost my mom’s trust. I lost my family’s hope that I would over achieve everything and become the greatest at something! I lost the people who I considered “friends”, who then again were the ones that lead me to failure, I got lost in school and life because It was true what you had said that life is harsh. I cant believe I stoop so low because of you. I, always positive and cheerful, excited for everything. A daredevil who was yet a novice in your world. Me, always so bubbly and filled with enthusiasm. Me, so lively and independent. I started depending on people. Depending on You ! I started experiencing hate and fears that I didnt even know existed in me. My life changed, I changed, YOU changed. After 3 months I found out you had a new girl. Your brother had told me, our friends had told me, I had seen you, but when I went up to ask you face to face, and you told me you found someone new, my heart exploded. I said ‘Ohh cool’ but inside I felt a rush of emotions, I dont know of it was anger, sorrow, a little of both maybe. But for sure I felt dissapointed. Dissapointed in you, in ME. That exact moment I decided to stop my feelings towards you. And that is when I received a call. From you. And I swear that that day I almost cried. I Have NEVER Cried for a guy, for you. And I Never will. You told me you had broken up with her because you needed time to think, about me. Although my heart was teared up, I told you to go with her, or anyone, and to leave me alone. I didnt think I could do it. But I guess I did huh. Now we are just strangers. I receive messages from you once in a while, but Ive learned how to live without you. Everytime I hear the song “Somebody that I used to know” the memories come back as if to haunt me, but instead I smile and think how that was a beauiful yet fearful ride. “We are young” was the song that started it all, like I said, I will always remember. But now I know my mom was right. I do deserve better, way better. Back then I didnt care how different we were, and now I look back and think how stupid things were, How stupd I was. Im happy though, because you taught me tons, and without you in my life I would still be that stupid, innocent girl that was blind about the world. That girl that believed everyone was friendly, she believed everyone was pure and helpful. Now its been a year… so Thanks for opening my eyes, thanks for showing me I can do better, I am better , valuable, worth tons, thanks for everything because now I dont need you. I dont want you. Im done with you  .

Pεace ;*